Marietta's Claim to Fame!

The beak moves and the eyes roll.  It's 56 feet tall and rises like a juggernaut above the non-existent Marietta, GA skyline.  When you ask for directions, people will tell you how to get where you want to go based off the location of this beloved eye-sore.  There's even a souvenir shop inside where you can buy little stuffed animals that look like the restaurant.  

It's affectionately known by locals simply as the Big Chicken.  At one point, "they" were going to tear it down, but there was such public outcry (and fundraisers) that this colossal chicken was saved!  Now restored, it seems as if it's going to remain part of my hometown for as long as my hometown exists.  In my opinion, it's worth stopping by just for the photo op (even better than Bucksnort, Tennessee if you as me!)

Intercession

Some fast food for thought on prayer:

Abraham for Sodom and Gomorrah

"But when God destroyed the cities of the plain, he remembered Abraham and sent Lot out, away from the destruction, when he overthrew the cities Lot lived in.  -Genesis 20:29

Abraham meets the Three Angels before they destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah

The only reason that righteous Lot lived through the judgment on Sodom and Gomorrah was because Abraham had prayed for God to spare the righteous in the city before God went to visit it.  Stunningly, not everyone in Lot's family made it out though (his two sons-in-law and his wife perished).  It does make me think that those who are righteous living in an unrighteous place can be overthrown with the wicked-unless we pray.  On a side note, vv. 27-28 tell us that Abraham saw the destruction of these cities but had no idea at the time whether or not his prayers for Lot's safety had been answered.  

Abraham Praying for Abimelech and His Unintentional Sin

"He is a prophet, and he will pray for you, so that you will live." -Genesis 20:7

Though King Abimelech had sinned unintentionally, God still pronounced him as good as dead (see Genesis 20:3.)  Nevertheless, God said that He would have Abraham pray for the king, and because of this action, God would spare his life.

I really felt God was speaking to me when I read this verse.  I came to it quite accidentally after really struggling with offense toward a friend of mine that was intentionally running away from God's commands.  It left me believing that regardless of how I felt, I must love as He loves, and that is to love even those that are the enemies of God.  As a result of that, I'm pushed to pray.  Even IF I feel His righteous hand of judgment approaching this person's life, my prayers can hold it off and give them time to repent.  Crazy as it might sound, I actually believe this is happening.

Isaac Praying for His Wife

"Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife, because she was childless.  The LORD heeded his prayer, and Rebekah became pregnant." -Genesis 25:21

Genesis 25:20, 26 inform us that it took Isaac 20 years before he realized he needed to pray for his wife to be fruitful.  Whoa!  I'm just praying that God would make me fully aware of how to pray for my wife so that I wouldn't spend 20 years holding back blessings that I could be praying into her life.

More Bucks for Your Buck.

So Starbucks might hate me for writing something like this, but I thought it was an idea worth sharing. 

When I go to Starbucks, I almost always get a drink that is one size larger but without paying for the larger size.  I do this without cheating or stealing from Starbucks, and without ingratiating myself to the baristas (as I have known some people to do in scandalous, shameless ways!  You know who you are people!!!). 

Before I explain how I do it, let me first lay out all the elements needed for this little enterprise:

1. Doctoring Station: Starbucks has a little station where you can “doctor” your drinks up.  There you’ll find the half and half, skim and whole milk, the sugar/splenda/saccharine stuff and napkins.

2. Free Pumps: When you order a Starbucks drink, you can add extra pumps of flavor for free, so long as it’s the flavor that comes with the drink.  For example, when you order a Chai Tea Latte, you can add as many pumps of chai as you want for free.  If you add a pump of vanilla, you’re paying more, but so long as you stick to chai, it’s free. 

3. Space or Room: Some people, when they get their cup of joe, they like to have some space in their cup.  This is for adding cream and sugar and still being able to stir your drink vigorously without spilling the precious contents.  You get this space by asking for a cup size larger than the drink you are ordering.  The dialogue goes something like this, “I’d like a tall chai tea latte in a grande cup please.” 

4. Temperature: Finally, you can order your drinks extra hot at Starbucks.  If there’s milk in a beverage, the limit is 180 degrees because after that you scald the milk and it tastes exactly like canned awful after that.  But if it’s coffee that you like, you can tell them to go even beyond 180 and name your specific temperature. 

Now that we’ve got the elements, I’ll explain how I get more Bucks for my buck.  I always order the beverage that I want extra concentrated and extra hot (up to 180 degrees for me because I always like milk in my drinks and I have a wussy tongue.)  When I do this, I order it in a cup size that is one size too big (so for a tall I get a grande cup, for a grande I get a venti cup).  After I get my drink I head over to the “doctoring station” and add milk to my drink.  Viola!  The milk dilutes the extra concentrated drink to a normal flavor while simultaneously cooling it down to a drinkable temperature.  By the time I’m done with this, I have a drink that is about one size up at the perfect flavor and temperature, but at the lesser price. 

Warnings and Tips: this isn’t fool proof, and it won’t work for every drink you get.  Sometimes, you can’t get the perfect flavor by diluting it. However, don’t give it up if at first you don’t succeed.  I had to try a couple of times before I got the precise measurements down for the perfect drink. 

Also, I don’t always do this because I can’t add the perfect amount of other syrups to my drink for free if for some reason I want them that day (caramel is good in hot chocolate you know, and vanilla is great in chai tea lattes!). The technique I’m sharing today is just usually the way to go.  

Don’t go overboard with concentrated syrups.  I typically add only one pump extra.  If I’m feeling crazy or needing caffeine, I’ll go for two.  More than that and the stuff becomes undrinkable sludge.

Sometimes, you’ll want to put your hand to the metal part of the milk container at the doctoring station to check the temperature.  If the baristas have freshly refilled it, it’ll be extra cold and you won’t be able to add as much to your drink that day because it will cool it down too much. 

Likewise, if you’re one of those people that was born with insulation in your mouth (“asbestos mouth” we used to call them in my family) and you basically like your coffee as soon as it comes off the roiling boil, this trick isn’t for you.  You’ll despise the chilly milk reducing the heat of your lava java. 

Cats are Superior to Dogs (Theologically Speaking)

We’ve all been part of this conversation or have overheard one.  Person A, a dog-lover, meets Person B, a cat-lover.  They have a discussion,  (and it might get a little heated, but usually ends friendly) about how cats are superior to dogs or dogs are superior to cats, etc.  These conversations never really go anywhere, but people have them anyways.  Dogs alwaysgreet you when you come in the door; cats can be litter box trained/aren’t so stupid, blah-dee-blah-blah, and so on.  ENOUGH!  Today, I thought I would settle the matter, at least for those of Biblical faith: cats are vastly superior to dogs.  So sorry dog-lovers.  L

First of all, in making this argument, allow me to give a few disclaimers.

Disclaimer 1: Everything I’m about to say in this article is a joke.  I say this because I’ve actually had people get angry with me when I’ve given these arguments.  It’s understandable, I suppose, if you are in the dog loving camp. 

Disclaimer 2: Though I will be quoting Scripture I’m not trying to make a doctrine out of this, it’s all in good fun!

Disclaimer 3: I’m not trying to say that dogs have no value or that no one wants them or that you’re evil if you own one.  Far from the truth! They’re useful, lovable creatures and I think God loves them too.  After all, two of them were saved on the ark with Noah.  But let’s be clear that we’re talking about a lesser creature than cats.

So let’s proceed with the theology.  To make this easy on everyone, I’m going to keep a scorecard, starting with Cats 0, Dogs 0.

Throughout the Bible, dogs get dogged on, and it’s not just me who says so.  According to the entry on dogs in The Dictionary of Biblical Imagery (a source I used for several of the verses on dogs in this article), the life of a dog “…shocks the reader with visions of squalor, dismal poverty and the life of a pariah at the bottom of the social scale.”  (Cats 0, Dogs -1.)  It goes on to say, “Of all the domesticated animals there is a particular revulsion for the dog, who alone is willing to eat humans corpses, a fact that is reprehensible to every human and exploited uniquely by the book of Kings as a curse that comes upon wicked dynasties.”  (Before we go on, we have to tally that one up… dogs eat human flesh and they are used as curses… that’s a negatory on two counts so it’s Cats 0, Dogs -3.) 

But wait dog lovers!  Did you know that there’s actually a verse in the Bible that explicitly mentions a condition in which a dog is better than a cat?  Yes!  There is!  Behold: “…even a live dog is better off than a dead lion” (Ecclesiastes 9:4 NIV).  Ouch.  I guess you can tell that the language in that verse indicates that under normal circumstances a dog is obviously inferior to a lion (cat), but that if the cat is dead and rotting a dog trumps it… barely.  For this, I suppose we can be extremely generous and deduct only two thirds of a point from dogs.  (Cats 0, Dogs -3.66.) 

“But Adam, that’s just Old Testament…” says the dog-lover.  We’re in the New Covenant now.  Okay!  Here goes!  Paul says in Phil 3:2, “Beware of the dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the false circumcision.”  The context here is that these people referred to as “dogs” were trying to rob the Philippians of their participation in Christ’s salvation.  (Cats 0, Dogs -4.66.)

The Apostle Peter, in 2 Peter 2:22, compares sinners returning to their sinful ways with dogs returning to lick up their own vomit.  (Cats 0, Dogs -5.66.)   He juxtaposes dogs with swine in the same verse.  (Cats 0, Dogs -6.66.)  It seems that dogs are not only losing their case, but now they are seeming kind of… evil, wouldn’t you say? 

I could go on, but I will end it with one, final point that is enough to ruin the day of any Bible-believer who previously thought that dogs were superior to cats.  Revelation 5:5 is THE trump card where God Almighty identifies Himself with a lion when He names Himself, “the Lion that is from the tribe of Judah.” 

Obviously, being associated with God gives cats* an infinite number of points, so we end our competition with the final score of Cats ∞, Dogs -6.66.  I rest my case.

*If you are thinking about making the GROUNDLESS argument that a lion is not a cat, please read this article.

Place Vendome

Note the hand tucked into the shirt as a nod to Napoleon.

So... I was in Paris, and this was something I had to stop by to see (and that my wife graciously agreed to go see with me).  To the ordinary observer, this was a mere column, lost in a sea of other monuments of any great city.  Not so for students of military history; it's a landmark that shouldn't be missed just because it's probably the most audaciously arrogant, trash talking "boo-yah" monument ever erected.

Brief history as to why: Multiple countries of Europe wanted to see Napoleon punished for basically being a jerk on an international level.  So they raised up armies together and sent them out to fight the lil' Emperor of the French.  Naturally.  

In 1805 a combined Russian and Austrian force, outnumbering Napoleon's, met up with him at a place called Austerlitz.  For his part, Napoleon pretended to be afraid in order to get the Russians and Austrians to fight him on the battleground of his choosing.  They did not know that he had already commanded his generals to scope out the battlefield because he promised them a battle there.  

Base of the column.

Long story short, in what was probably his finest battle, Napoleon made a laughingstock of the Russians and Austrians.  To add insult to injury though, he took their cannons, melted them down and viola! made a column of them, with a statue of his handsome self on top.  Naturally.  

And that's why I had to go there, off the regular beaten tourist path in Paris, to see the column made up of those cannons from the combined armies that tried to bring Napoleon down on a battleground of his choosing.  

The Odds of Being a 6'6'' Redhead

You always wanted to know...

Even in the Middle Ages, Redheads were Boss!

I learned/figured out some interesting things today.  Granted, the things I learned all directly apply to me, so this post is perhaps one of my most narcissistic posts ever, BUT I still thought it was interesting enough to let everyone know. 

I'm 6'6'' and only 1/4 of 1% of the world's population is that height.  That number looks like this: 0.0025.   Pretty cool huh? 

So I thought about this, and applied it to the fact that only 2% (0.02) of the world's population is red haired.  

In case you forgot middle school math, the way you find out the odds of two percentages coming together is to simply multiply them.  THEREFORE, a red head being 6'6'' or above is going to be extremely rare... about 0.00005 % of the population.  Whoa!  Now I feel as random as a purple tiger or something like it!

But even though those odds are long... let me give you some food for thought.  I went to high school with a red head who was also 6'6'' or thereabouts (I remember having him edged in height, but sometimes the memory a guy has of his high school days are exaggerated come 10+ years later... e.g. Uncle Rico's hilarious line, "How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?").  So since there were two of us in one high school, us 6'6'' redheads can't be THAT rare, can we?  

Well, if you multiply 0.00005% times the current world population of 7.1 billion, you'll see that there are plenty of tall redheads!  355,000 of them to be precise!  That's about the population of the Bahamas... a nice country, but probably not the best for tall redheads since they get sunburned easily and sometimes are so large that their friends meanly call them "Moby Dick" when they go swimming (yes, this actually happened to me!)

And before you go and stereotype all redheads as being Irish or even European, let me just tell you, there are people groups (some of them with very dark skin) from China, Papua New Guinea and the Middle East and North Africa (mostly areas in the former Ottoman Empire, usually Berber populations people but also including Jews) that are known for having red hair.   

Thus ends my strange, rambling combination of random facts and math.  

The Death of Battleships.

Yamato under construction.  

I think this is a story worth telling because I often find that people are unaware that battleships are obsolete (meaning they're basically useless for navies around the world in the event of war).  Yep, it's true.  With very few exceptions, they've been obsolete round the world since since World War II.  The reason for this goes back to the story of this bad boy seen in the picture below, Battleship Yamato.  

Whoa, and was it ever a bad boy.  Yamato was the largest battleship ever built, the pride of the Imperial Japanese Navy.  It was originally designed to be an aircraft carrier and was actually BIGGER than the aircraft carrier in the United States Navy at the time.  To give you a picture of just how big it was... the largest U.S. Battleships ever built displaced 45,000 tons (roughly the size of the Titanic of sinking and Hollywood fame).  The Yamato displaced 73,000 tons.  It's guns were bigger and better than anything else in naval history before or since.  They were 18.1 inches and capable of shooting shells that were the equivalent of explosive Volkswagon Beetles at targets 30 miles away!

Yamato undergoing sea trials.

On top of that, Yamato, at the time of its death, had over 160 anti-aircraft guns.  AA guns (as we shall affectionately call them) were needed on ships in WWII because pesky airplanes were taking off from aircraft carriers and causing all sorts of trouble.  However, there had never really been a battle, a serious battle, to prove whether or not carrier-borne aircraft were indeed superior to battleships or not.  

If any battleship could prove or disprove the superiority of battleships when it came to a fight between battleships and aircraft carriers, it was going to be Yamato.  To begin with, remember that she had 160 guns that were meant to kill planes!  What I didn't yet say was that she also had huge shells that went into her 18.1 inch guns that were the equivalent of BUCKSHOT.  (Such ingenuity was typical of the Imperial Japanese warfare btw).  Yessir, dem big guns would aim upward and farr a sprayd of hellfire at doze incomin' planes - jest lik an ol' fashund turkey shoot!  

Yamato exploding.  Note the size of the ships to the left.

So... the real test for Yamato, and really all battleships, came when 280+ U.S. planes came to attack the biggest, baddest mamma-jamma that ever sailed the seven seas.

 It was basically no contest.  Yamato and her crew fought back valiantly, but she got toasted with loads of torpedos and bombs (at least 15 of them!) 
Losses for the U.S., however, were minimal, and afterwards the battleship was considered obsolete by navies worldwide.